Australian Blog #4

March 7th-Friday- Vanilla slice is a great dessert. Just write it down and save that information. I had one after buying a few books at “Books in Print” on Glenferrie Road where we always seem to end up.

We had Friday Shabbat with a lovely family—Penny’s daughter, Emma, and her boys, Ben and Harry. (Ben pictured at left). I had spent time with Ben at the park the day previous and we had all walked to his school to pick him and his brother up at the end of the week.

It was a remarkable scene with scores of parents, relatives and neighbours gathered in the school yard, exchanging gossip and weekend plans. Ben is in “kinder” at five and Harry is an old seven. Absolutely sensational kids, very bright and extremely funny. They have been reared on little television, lots of books and lots of free space and time to play by themselves and with each other. But both are very sociable kids and a joy to be around.

March 8th-Saturday- We went to an auction of a house priced by the “vendor” at A$3.4million. Good thing that he priced it that high as nobody in the crowd of over 70 even bid on the house and the auction flopped. Many homes are auctioned here and only 66% of them get their price or any bids at all. It was a lovely unit but, in our humble opinion, worth nowhere near $3.4 million, Australian or American dollars.

For lunch we had a “Florentine” for dessert. New to me, it was almost a meal in itself, made of corn flakes, peanuts, fruit chunks, raisins and other stuff all on a thin chocolate base. Unbelievably tasty.

That night we went to The Black Balloon, a new Australian movie starring Gemma Ward and Toni Collette. No, it is not true that she is in every Australian movie. This one is about a family coping with a son’s autism and we found it very effective and very moving. We came back along Chapel Street that appeared to be one long 20-something party site. Lots of varying clothing combinations and lots of legs and tans on display. The street was jammed with people and we felt very old.

Tomorrow is Moomba Saturday, the day of the great Birdman Rally. Jen is not enthusiastic but is being a good scout to accompany me and we’ll tell you all about it in our next entry.

Australian Blog #3

Tuesday, March 5

The tram system is extensive and efficient, but not cheap in Melbourne. The best idea, if you are going to be here for an extended period, is a weekly or 20-hour pass. They run about A$28. The 2-hour pass is A$3.50 while a daily is A$6.50. Connections are easy and the trams run on time. There are also trains that serve other purposes and have different routes, and you can catch on to the system quickly with just a little practice. Like other cities, the system looks like an “honor system” as there is nobody enforcing payment of fares—all the time.

When the “Enforcers” do board a train, they will ask for your ticket and check the time to see if you have any left. Woe betide the rider who has an out-of-date ticket! The other tip is to carry a map of the city streets or memorize your stops as there is little warning. You can always ask the tram conductor to give you a holler when you are coming to yours.

We had tickets for a rowdy and fun Australian musical, Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, so ate out on Little Collins Street. You will not lack great eating opportunities in Melbourne though, again, things can get pricey very quickly. Tipping is expected in restaurants but anything over 15% is looked on as showing off. Everyplace else, no tipping is expected.

We hear that Priscilla is coming to Broadway but I’m not sure how it will translate to anybody who is not up on Australian culture and humour. The theatre, the Regents, is ornate 19th century and has the most comfortable theatre seats I can imagine. Like the English, however, the Aussie theatres present no printed programs—you can buy one for A$20 but other than that, you’re on your own as far as cast and credits are concerned.

Wednesday, March 6
TV ratings in Australia are interesting: #1= RSPCA Animal Rescue #2=Australian-Indian cricket #3=The Force #4=Border Security #5= Seven News Sunday. Desperate Housewives ranks #13 and House is #16.

The Green Guide is an incredible weekly 56-page supplement jammed with TV, radio and film news with focuses on personalities in local programming. It’s more informative about the media in Australia in one week than we get in a month of media writing.
This morning we trammed to the National Gallery of Australia to see the Sidney Nolan exhibit. He was a fascinating artist who featured the bushranger Ned Kelly in a lot of his works.

While buying a Ned Kelly print by Nolan we ran into a woman from Appleton, Wisconsin, and told her about Brett Favre’s retirement. She was as distressed as I was. Her first visit and she and her husband are already planning another trip. Australia tends to do that to first-timers and veteran visitors alike. It was hot afterward so I zipped off my pants. A great purchase from a travel clothier, the pants convert to shorts in a jiffy and as it neared 90 I was glad I had chosen them.

Melbourne, though looking more like DC in terms of ethnic diversity, is still startling for its almost total absence of aborigines. It is a colorful and flamboyant city and a joy to walk through as we’ll find out when we go to “Moomba,” a uniquely Melbournian festival of madness, food and frivolity

Australian adventure #2

March 4th, Tuesday

March 3 was spent in the air and was totally lost to us. We gain back the day coming back as we’ll fly for 35 hours but take off on the 24th and get home on the 24th. I hope March 24th is a good day since we’ll live it twice.

Our friend, Penny Coates, was ready for us when we landed. We had called her before leaving LAX to tell her of the luggage problem but she still laughed when she picked us up with “all” of our luggage.

We arrived at her lovely home in Caulfield, a south-eastern suburb of Melbourne, to be greeted by Pippa, her 13-year old Maltese mix and a family of three magpies. We were introduced to them by their conversation outside the kitchen door. Penny talks back atthem but she also delivers nuggets of hamburger which she tosses at them. They snap the meat out of the air and chortle their thanks before abruptly leaving, we assume for the next gullible neighbour. (There goes that spell-checker again!)

The secret to surviving a trip like the one we just concluded is to stay awake as long as possible on your first day. Yes, it’s painful, but with a good night’s sleep you should be fine for the rest of your vacation. We stayed up as long as we could and made it to about 2100 (9PM) and slept acceptably before rising at 0730 the next morning to the sounds of the hungry maggies. By the way, most Australian times are listed, as they are in Europe, in 24-hour format so you might get used to it before coming here!

Wednesday, March 5
We had breakfast to the sounds of the neighborhood: the maggies, plus the dog next door who is taunted by two dogs from up the street owned by a somewhat ancient Elvis impersonator, and the aging Volvo of the lady down the block. She has very shaky brakes that scream when she touches the pedal and she is a VERY cautious driver, touching the brakes all the way down the street and through the roundabout. Then there is the Mt. Scopus school bus that loads up early. Nothing irritating, except the thud of the Melbourne Age against the front window where we are sleeping. The paper is in a tight roll wrapped in Saran wrap so it can fly a long distance with a great deal of force behind it. Makes a lovely crunching sound against the window.

The forecast for the next five days is for “Fine” with highs near and over 80. Sounds perfect, but water capacity in the area dams is at 35.2% of capacity vs. 34% at this time last year! NOT a good situation. Penny has a “green smart house.” She collects solar energy on her roof and stores gray water there as well, which is used for toilets and gardening. Her windows are double-glazed and she has electronically controlled shades that cover the windows on the west side of the house that allow sunlight to warm the place during the day.

Still, Jen mourns for the lovely gardens, both formal and individual, that she remembers as they are all short of water and everything is very crisp at the end of the Australian summer. Some commentators are blaming the government for encouraging farmers to stick with it, even though the climate changes here have made small farms unviable for many. The commentators say that the farmers would be better off to admit defeat and get out of the business entirely.

Next entry: getting around Melbourne by Tram.

Australian adventure

Mike Cuthbert Australian Blog #1

These entries were made episodically from March 2nd to March 24th and originated in and around Melbourne, Australia. Our holiday began on Labor Day weekend, the end of the end of Aussie summer. (By the way, if you want to sound authentic, it is not “awssy” but “ozzie” and the Aussies often refer to their country as “Oz.”) We were visiting family and friends but, as you will find when you go to Australia, making new friends is an activity you can plan on.

DAY ONE- March 2nd

Forty minutes late, we pull away from the Delta gate and my wife, Jen, sees our luggage sitting on a cart while we head to JFK for our Qantas connection. Pleas to get our bags back on the plane go unheeded. “You’ll get them at your destination,” we are told by a hapless flight attendant. “Do you have a clue as to what our destination is?” Blank stare. When told we are going to Australia and would like our luggage to accompany us, we are told our luggage “..will be in New York before you.” Since the next flight to JFK would get there at 6:09 and we were leaving on Qantas at 6:40, we expressed our scepticism. We were right and it was not until our second day in Australia that our bags arrived.

We always have a very flexible pool on when we will first hear an Aussie accent. 4:40 PM and it’s a girl from Brisbane with a growing infection from a New York-installed stud in her cheek. We did not visit with her.
Our first good omen: we got the exit row for the flight to LAX!! A wonderful flight with tons of movies Bad omen: I discover my digital camera screen won’t light up and the camera is more or less useless though I suspect it may be taking pictures without the screen working. I can’t afford to hope so plan on getting a new camera at duty-free along the way.

Watched “Romulus, My Father,” a prize-winning Aussie movie about an eastern European immigrant family. Eric Bana stars and it’s a sad, slow-paced movie. Listened to some Beethoven sonatas played by Australian Stephen Kovacevich. Excellent performances and a delightful break between movies. An extra treat was three unseen (by us) episodes of “Kath and Kim,” an outrageously Australian TV comedy that we fell in love with on our last visit three years ago. Laughed out loud but didn’t disturb my seat-mate, Harrison or “Harry.” He’s three and I’m worried. I shouldn’t be. Harry is a gem and alternately sleeps and watches TV, mostly “The Wiggles” the whole trip. Lovely little guy! His mother swears by “Gravel,” an anti-airsickness drug that also works to help kids sleep. It worked on Harry while I watched “The Assassination of Jesse James etc.,””The Heartbreak Kid,” “an awful teen movie with Seth Rogen as a cop and a start on “Two Days in Paris” with Julie Depuy. Fell asleep during that one so I can save it for the return trip as it looked kind of cute.

I have a good book to read, “The Commonwealth of Thieves,” by Thomas Keneally, an account of the founding of Australia under Arthur Phillip, but couldn’t focus. I think reading on planes, even over such long distances as we are covering, is very difficult and hard on aging eyes. There is lots of material to read about Australia before coming here and I always recommend at least one major book before you come here, just to get in the mood. NOT “The Thorn Birds!” I have others and will no doubt buy some Australian fiction when I get there. Book prices are outrageous in Australia, with paperbacks often going for A$30 or more, but many of them never make it to the States at all.

Book shops are in every neighbourhood—some are specialty stores for the fine arts, or Australiana or travel, but there are more book shops than tanning parlours, a welcome change from the States. (My spelling, by the way, of such words as “labour” and “parlour” is marked as an error by spell-checkers if written “labor” and “parlor.” Just so you don’t think I’m going native.

Next episode, landing in Melbourne, settling in and the calendar of events available for a tourist at this time of the year.

Aging

It’s not surprising that we have many guests on Prime Time Radio whose expertise is the process of aging. Two diverse guests resonated with me recently and caused me to think more about aging than I usually do.

Aging is something I find it easy to not think about since there is not too much I can do about it. But Anne Kreamer’s Going Gray reminded me that many of us believe that, by changing our external appearance, we can appear not to be aging. This is sheer delusion, of course, but as Kreamer realized, she had spent over $65,000 in the past twenty years coloring her hair to avoid going gray.

(Listen to my conversation with Anne Kreamer with Real Audio.)

Yet she was not a day younger after all that investment. She is clear: that the perception is that women with gray hair are regarded as more antique than their tinted sisters and she may be right. Except that she found many successful women, youthful in mind and action, who had gone gray long ago.

Then there was Lillian Rubin, author of 60 on Up: The Truth About Aging in America. She is in her eighties and recently began a new career as an artist. She sold her first painting at the age of eighty-two. Her book is a sometimes-brutal look at aging.

She points out, for instance, that we spend millions of dollars on keeping men and women alive but a fraction of that, if anything, on ways to make their old age more comfortable or even tolerable. Life, it seems, is more important than how that life is spent.

She points out: “We say we want to die with dignity and mean it, but we’re so frightened of death that we submit to often painful and undignified medical procedures in the often vain hope of putting off our meeting with it just a little longer.” Perhaps that is a human failing, like the desire to believe that tinting our hair to cover the gray does something significant for the way we age.

(Listen to my conversation with Lillian Rubin with Real Audio.)

Both books made me assess how well I’m handling aging. At times, the best times, with equanimity and rational acceptance of what is. At other times, the worst, a frustration at the lack of control it is possible to achieve over the last decades of life.

I do not enjoy counting pills every morning and every night; pills that lower my blood pressure, control my cholesterol, shrink my prostate and take away inflammation from my knee. I do not enjoy looking at menus and seeing things that I know I can’t have if I want to control my blood sugar. But it is all part of aging that I must accept because there is little alternative.

My hair is gray, my knees man-made; my back is never what it used to be and I am shrinking. I hope I can approach the rest of aging with the dignity that Rubin talks about. I plan on it. But another part of aging that we cannot escape is that things change. What I fear most about aging is the loss of the ability to adapt. So far, so good.

I wonder what you fear most about aging and how you’re coping. Share it with us by clicking "comments" below. We post your comments soon after you send them.

Lessons for Those Facing a Total Knee Replacement - Part Two

10. There are various names for it, but learn to use and value the strap or belt that you use as a leg-mover. I call mine “Isadora” after Isadora Duncan and her scarf since I wear my leg-mover around my neck and use it for everything, even snaring the most valuable “Get Well” gift I received: an omnibus volume of NY Times Crossword Puzzles. Great for that hour from 2 to 3 in the morning when you can’t sleep anyway.

11. If you always wanted to get a laptop, get it before the operation and learn how to use it. It, like the crossword puzzles, turned out to be invaluable during those long, empty morning hours. Mah-Jong solitaire is particularly habit-forming.

12. Don’t worry too much about pulled muscles in your back, sides, wrists, etc. They come from walking differently and using crutches and canes. They’ll heal before your knee does anyway.

13. You’ll be amazed at how quickly you’ll be able to sense when you’ve increased flexing by a degree or two and the same for extension. As you get closer to the end of rehab and establishing full Range of Motion, each degree becomes more and more precious. Celebrate every one of them!

14. They say it’s possible but if you have your left knee done, it’s impossible to sleep on your right side for very long and vice versa. Pillows between the knees? Under the knee? Doesn’t work for me. Good luck.

15. Be VERY NICE to your Significant Other. They will have to take on extra duties that make you impatient to even ask for but that you simply cannot do yourself for a while. At the same time, try to do more and more for yourself each day to remind yourself that this rehab stuff is temporary and has the goal of returning you to a normal, independent life, assuming you had one before the operation!

16. Get out to dinner, a movie or something fun as soon as you can stand sitting in one place for more than an hour. (That may take a few weeks.) You’ll have earned it and your Significant Other will want the fun as well.

17. Set goals for performance: pick a date for the resumption of your golfing hobby; set a goal for walking up and down the stairs foot-over-foot again; set a date for walking to the corner and back, around the block, etc.; make a date with your physical therapist for dinner so you can tell them you didn’t mean all those nasty things you called them when they were stretching you.

18. Don’t worry if the next thing that goes is a hip. They say the rehab is nowhere near as bad as for a knee!!!

Lessons for Those Facing a Total Knee Replacement

I am undoubtedly not typical of a knee replacement patient but, having gone through the procedure twice in the past five years, I feel qualified to offer some advice. At least, these are some of the changes in your life you might look out for as you go through the process of the replacement. Yes, it is not merely an operation; it is a process, the most important part of which starts in the recovery room.

1. Rehab is everything. The operation takes a couple of hours; the rehab takes months and months so plan to start rehab as soon as possible.

2. Learn to manage your pain in the hospital and don’t be macho or Amazonian about managing it at home. Pain wrecks rehab, destroys sleep and exhausts you. The professionals tell us that not managing pain also slows recovery drastically. My rule of thumb: when my pain goes over 6 and is clearly headed higher toward 10, I take the Percocet and track the time so as to not take any more than two in four hours. (Sometimes each dosage will last longer than four hours, but it’s amazing how often at the four-hour mark you can feel the pain start to return!)

3. Rehab hurts. Once home and started with a therapist or by yourself or at an outpatient rehab facility upon discharge from the hospital, learn to manage your pain meds. I take 2 Percocets an hour before every therapy session. Without the pain meds, the therapy is limited by pain and not as productive. The goal is to regain “Range of Motion” in the joint and to do that you have to take your knee beyond where pain would stop you. BUT—see #4

4. When your pain meds kick in, be careful not to over-stretch because the pain won’t be there to stop you. Learn to exercise to a stretch that you can feel even with pain meds. To go any further asks for pulled muscles that turn up only after the pain meds fade away.

5. Have the operation in the summer months, during re-runs on TV. You won’t want to watch much anyway and the only sports on during the summer, baseball, can help you get to sleep anyway.

6. Do not plan to read War and Peace during recuperation. I find my attention span the first few weeks was limited to a few pages of Dr. Seuss at a time. Similarly, don’t plan to write anything meaningful. Many pages of my journal have these odd dribbles of ink off the page where my pen went when I fell asleep during a short entry.

7. Welcome visitors but don’t be afraid to let them know when you can’t remember their names any more from fatigue.

8. Plan to start a diet. I lost twenty pounds in less than a month because I didn’t want to eat much at all and didn’t need to. I have suggested that my orthopedic surgeon market his “Joint Replacement and Weight Loss System.”

9. Sleep whenever you feel sleepy. Usual sleep patterns are destroyed anyway so take it when you can get it. You’re not going to be going anywhere during the day and, if you followed suggestion #5, there’s going to be nothing you’ll miss on TV anyway. The best nap is the one after PT!!

After writing that, I made myself so sleepy that I followed my own advice and nodded off. Next blog, nine more tips on handling a knee replacement, including the value of Mah-Jongg on your computer and the care and treatment of your Significant Other.

Retirement (by Prime Time Radio Host, Mike Cuthbert)

Every possible weekend, which this summer has meant every weekend, I drive up the highway to West Virginia and spend at least two days playing golf. I don’t play all that well, which frustrates me, but I spend a lot of time with the Men’s Golf Association where we have our summer place and I learn a lot.

Many of the men I play with live in retirement at the resort; many are like me: weekenders. Every week the question of retirement comes up and I am fascinated by the responses. About half say they are delighted to be retired, though they’re not sure about how their wives feel about it. The other half are like me, convinced that they will work until they drop.

I feel that way largely because I have never been confident that I would ever have enough money in the bank to be able to do nothing to earn more. Another reason is that, if I wake up in the morning with literally “nothing to do,” I feel strange, as if I’m ill.

On a recent show we talked with Mark Freedman about “encore” careers and it occurred to me again that there’s another way. [after August 14th, check local listings]. Freedman talks about people who get up in the morning and want something to do but they want whatever they do to have a wider impact than their first career, which was for themselves and their families. At the same time, he makes the point that volunteering is nice, but everybody takes what you do more seriously if there is some recompense. [More about Freedman on his website Civic Ventures.]

So, as I face my second total knee replacement in five years next week, I’m starting to look around for things to do to replace the golf I may not be able to play next summer. I’ve got some ideas that could help people while earning a little recompense. I wonder how many people are doing the same thing, even if they have both knees?

Retirement? I still can’t imagine it. But I’m working on some alternatives and that’s reason enough to get up in the morning.